another one again

happened again, and nothing can be done now, i am so tired and fed up..i'm not going to give up though.
even if i do get pulled down again, i have to manage to pick myself up, and i can do that on my own, i dont need anyones help, because ive been through this on my own all these years, so i can do it. just good and very lucky to know i have support.
but i can do this on my own, please give me my space.
i may fall back down, but i know how to get back up again.
and i am actually in love with Mogwai.

you call it love

i dont understand, i might just be too young and too naive? but that doesnt mean i'm not clever enough to know facts for myself, for my own good.
i've tried so hard, and harder everytime to break a habit and now i have managed to pick myself up, but some things still manage to pull me back down again, take me on the same road i was on..i am tired and fed up of it, i am trying to move on and put this in the past. i dont even want to look back on this "thing", im so afraid it will come back, but being afraid is the right i have, and it is my strength that will not let it come back again.
Why can't you help me pass this phase? after all we are suppose to be in "love", yet your already planning out how we will end. i dont plan, i never have, and never will, it's like you dont understand after being let down a certain amount of times, you will get put off of planning simple things ahead. you wouldnt know how it feels like to plan to see someone you care about for so long, dress up nicely, have a smile on, put on your best dress just to try and impress, and then for what? for one person, that another excuse holds them back from seeing me. why Should i plan, when i chose not to anymore. i chose not to be let down, not to dissolve into my sorrow, and feel left out of my own mind.
Your anger. as much as it frustrates me, it yet still manages to facinate me, how you look at me with your lightly blue coloured eyes, with such fuery and explosion at once, in one go, and that one glare melts me so, so much. how you manage to glare at me with the same eyes and make fluster and blush, questions me all at once.
i like the word beautiful, wouldnt you?
the presence of your smile, for that split second could of turned the world around, for me.
ease my mind and yours too.

heart heart heart

i wish i could see my heart, feels like my heart is beating too fast, then too slow whilst im just led down trying to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, its really cute though i think, just randomly starts to beat faast

understand me?

Some people, just dont understand, no matter how clever or personal they are with me, they just dont understand. i am the way i am because of the way i think and because of the way i act, i'm not trying to copy any one, i am my own person,.. it's for the best then if i dont explain myself sometimes, because thinking about it now, i will come to regret it one day, and it will save the screams, tears and arguments. But one day, i know that i will either just say it out of no where, or gradually it will become clear. so please, try and understand me for the time being and cope with me, because in some way or form, we are going through the same phase, just in our own different paths.


We are not alike as every one thinks we are, i know that now, but please, always keep in mind we will remain close no matter what paths we take, because, i will always love you with all my heart.

Obsession, but it makes me smile

i couldn't help myself to copy and paste this photo from a friends facebook, this is just beautiful and i love the sight of this captured image, so custard like

long long Nights

some nights, honestly i get no sleep, no rest, or anything..just wont fall asleep, no matter how hard i try, i think i'm an owl sometimes but just cant turn my head 360 i would love to be an owl for a night, just to fly away and see the city, empty or full, and watch the sun rise with another owl and just enjoy the freedom, and then to turn my head 360 so i can say i kissed my own ass

i would love to stare the moon in the face and watch the transformation of night to morning, the darkness to a slow rise of sun light. and to travel the country without paying so much money and maybe travel the world for a night, in my dreams first place i would always fly to is my bedroom in Iran, ohh i miss my room so damn much..

i am friend of the night

come on bowels, please work with me

hate feeling like this, my bowels just dont move themselves sometimes, and nothing happens, then all of a sudden, its like fireworks are going off in my stomach..lime juice hasnt kicked in yet, its my last option. just want to get rid of this feeling